


Ordinary World

by YoroiNoKyojin



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Romance, Sad, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21878788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YoroiNoKyojin/pseuds/YoroiNoKyojin
Summary: **POST RISE OF SKYWALKER STORY. SPOILERS INSIDE. Summary is vague to avoid spoilers!!!!**Rey saw Luke, she saw Leia; but she wondered why she couldn't see him.When she finally did, she wasn't ready to let go, to be alone. But no one's ever really gone.Reylo, comfort/sadness/fluff/romance.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey
Comments: 14
Kudos: 134





	Ordinary World

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: HELLO! Having just seen the movie (and bawling my fucking eyes out), I HAD to write this little piece; my own take on Rey's feelings post TROS and Ben being a Force-ghost. The information in this little fic I took from BOTH Canon and Legends! Title is based on the song "Ordinary World" by Tears for Fears (although I listen to the cover by Red), which is about someone trying to move on after a death. Very fitting.
> 
> Also, I wrote all of this in one day so I apologize if there are any errors.
> 
> Enjoy!

_No one’s ever really gone._

“– and I shit you not, at one point I was sitting on _Zorii’s_ lap. She was driving that speeder like a bat outta hell while I was firing blasters at anything that moved.”

The table erupted into laughter; the thought of Poe Dameron sitting on a woman’s lap was hilarious, especially added onto the fact that they were running from angry civilians with drug-addicted kids. Now that everyone was much closer to each other, Poe seemed a lot more comfortable with sharing stories about his life before the Resistance. All of them; Rey, Finn, Rose, Poe, Jannah, and the other core members, had grown nearly inseparable since the end of Palpatine’s plot and the fall of the Final Order.

Everyone was happy; and that was no exaggeration or lie. Rey _was_ happy… but there was a permanent piece of her puzzle that was missing, and she didn’t know what could possibly bring it back… bring _him_ back.

Ben.

Rey quietly excused herself from the table and left the restaurant, taking in gulps of fresh air but still finding that she couldn’t breathe. At first he’d been her enemy, there was no doubt about it, but somewhere along the way she’d found herself in love with him. The Force had connected them, the Force had _meant_ for them to be together, she just _knew_ it, and she could feel it in that kiss on the day he’d sacrificed his life for her. For love. She could see it in his eyes, that was what he’d died for. 

_Love._

A hand settled itself on Rey’s shoulder and she turned to look into the sober yet reassuring dark eyes of Finn. His lips were pursed grimly as he gauged her reaction. “You alright?”

“Y-Yeah,” she answered uncertainly, trying to force a smile. “Just, uh… couldn’t breathe.”

“You haven’t slowed down since everything happened,” Finn admonished seriously. “You went on that personal mission to Tatooine and have continued working non-stop since then. You’ve gotta take a break. Allow yourself time to…”

Rey moved back, growing defensive. “The Resistance needs me. We have to finish freeing planets from the remnants of the First Order, Finn.”

Finn let his hand drop from her shoulder, his gaze sad. As if he knew the pain she was in and was trying his hardest to help her with it. “You loved him. And that’s okay. We all miss Han and Leia, too. You have to slow down, give yourself a moment to _grieve,_ Rey.”

Rey felt on the verge of tears, but she swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked them back. Even though she tried to be strong, _had_ to be strong, her voice cracked. “I’ve seen Luke and Leia… in the Force... but I-I still haven’t seen _him. Why…?”_

Finn pulled his best friend into a tight hug. “I don’t know, Rey.”

* * *

Sitting in a small, dusty hut that had been rebuilt since its destruction, Rey crossed her legs, set her hands on her lap, and closed her eyes. Ahch-to was shrouded in the Force, both Light and Dark, and she could feel it all around her as she reached out. Life, death, a cycle. Energy. All around.

She searched for him. Across the sea, through the stars, under the mountains, to the darkest depths. She looked for his energy, anything she could grasp. And when she came up dreadfully empty-handed, Rey put her face in her hands cried. She sobbed, her chest heaving and gasping for breath, her eyes stinging and blurring with salty tears, her whole body wracked with pain. This was the first time she had allowed herself to break down, and it was agony. Every inch of her hurt, wallowed in the darkness; she felt… incomplete. Like half of her was gone and would never come back.

_“Who would have thought… you, crying over me.”_

Rey abruptly lifted her face from her hands and looked around wildly. She’d officially gone insane; she was hearing things and soon she’d be seeing things, too. She’d have to go live on Dagobah like Master Yoda and make friends with the swamp beasts. 

Just as Rey began pondering her own death (because death was preferable to insanity), before her very eyes, he appeared.

_He_ appeared.

All the tears that had dried on her cheeks were renewed and her heart hammered wildly in her chest. Standing up from the cot she’d been sitting on, Rey rushed across the hut and stopped just in front of the blue-ish ghost of Ben Solo. He wore a simple shirt and pants, and his hair was just the way she remembered. The only difference was – his scar… or lack of. A trembling hand reached up to his face, but stopped just shy of his skin; she knew she wouldn’t be able to touch him, although every fibre of her being was aching for him. Immediately she recalled the feeling of his mouth on hers; the only time they were ever able to reconcile. To express the depth of their emotions. 

“I was wondering when I’d see you,” Rey finally whispered, voice quivering.

Ben’s brows were furrowed but his dark eyes were serene. He was… at peace. She could feel it radiating from him. His lips quirked into a hint of a smile. _“Me too.”_

Rey felt her knees buckle and she collapsed to the ground, barely able to straighten herself into a sitting position. Calmly, Ben sat down across from her, though his body was stiff, hands clenching at his knees tightly; as if he was trying to hold himself back. Perhaps he’d found peace in his death, but she could tell that he wanted to reunite with her as badly as she wanted him. Rey opened and closed her mouth a few times, unsure of what to say. Things had been left so abruptly that she never got closure. She didn’t even know how to feel, what to think; all she knew… was that she missed his presence. The one person in the galaxy who _truly_ understood her. “There has to be a way to bring you back,” Rey finally said, trying to stop the tears from coming. Hastily reaching up to wipe her eyes, she looked away from him.

Ben’s eyes never left her. He was a master at staring intently, conveying his emotions with his eyes. When she finally returned his gaze, Rey could see the sad answer in their depths: _“there’s not.”_

Pressure; there was an uncomfortable pressure in her chest and Rey realized that as grief. She experienced it when Han died, when her parents left, when she lost Leia, when she found out who she was, and now… losing Ben. His voice broke her from her circle of agony. _“... You kissed me.”_

There was a slight, teasing lilt to his voice that brought Rey’s eyes up to his face in shock. There was amusement there, flickering in his dark eyes, and his lips were half-curled into a grin. “I did,” she said haughtily, “though I can’t fathom why.”

_“I think I know why.”_ His grin softened into a half-smile; and Rey didn’t think a simple smile had ever radiated so beautifully and so strongly before; like the blinding yet exquisite rays of the sun. He was beautiful, he was pure.

Her own expression softened and she returned that smile, warmth and passion glowing in her hazel eyes. “You saved me –” she said, voice suddenly hitching. “– why…?”

_“I think_ you _know why.”_

Rey’s hands clenched together in her lap. “I don’t know why the Force connected us, I still don’t know,” she admitted. “I never figured it out.”

Ben watched her for a moment longer, still seated across from her. _“It’s not a mystery to solve,”_ he finally answered. _“It just…_ is. _Although for a time I was as curious as you.”_

Rey nodded thoughtfully, gazing up at him. Although he shimmered in an ethereal blue, he looked exactly as she remembered. The urge to touch him, to hold him, grew ten-fold. She found herself chewing anxiously on her lip. “I wish you were here, with me. _Really_ here.”

He pursed his lips contemplatively. Finally, he stood from his seat and offered a hand to her. _“Stand up. We can try something.”_

Rey’s brows furrowed as she looked at the offered hand. She knew she couldn’t grab it, but she so desperately wanted to; she’d never gotten the chance to do so while he was still alive. She stood obediently, though her confusion was visible. “How are you here right now…? I don’t know much about Force ghosts, but…”

His expression softened. “ _My mother.”_

“Leia,” Rey repeated, trying to swallow the sudden lump in her throat. Seeing that Ben had held out both hands, palms up, she settled her own hands just atop them; not touching, but a hair’s breadth apart. What was he trying to do? And why was her heart racing so fast she could barely breathe?

_“My uncle began teaching me something when I…”_ he trailed off. _“My mother and uncle, they preserved my spirit. I wouldn’t be here if not for them. And if it weren’t for my uncle’s training, I wouldn’t be able to try this.”_

Rey was breathless, shivering in anticipation. “T-Try what…?”

There was that almost cocky half-grin again. Bits and pieces of Han were beginning to shine through since the shroud of the Dark side had been lifted. Ben closed his eyes, concentrating, and Rey could feel the Force manifesting around them, whipping around them; she could feel it, Ben was… drawing energy from every living creature around them, including herself. He was drawing strength from her link to the Force, and she watched with wide eyes as the color momentarily seeped back into his skin. Though she knew it couldn’t be… Ben appeared to be flesh and blood as he stood right in front of her. Rey could feel the warmth of his fingers below hers, could hear the evenness of his breath, could see the glow of happiness in his dark eyes. He was there, right in front of her.

_Ben._

_“Ben,”_ she repeated tearfully, unable to fight the smile that crept onto her lips. Her hands removed themselves from his own to reach up, touching his face. The contact of their skin sent electricity racing down her spine and her whole body reacted in a shiver. Was this a dream? Had she really gone insane?

Ben’s hands went around her waist and the moment he pulled her into him, Rey melted into his arms and she fought back the fresh wave of sobs. Every inch of her was flooded with relief, was on fire, was crumbling away, all at once. And suddenly his mouth was on hers, fierce and demanding, and she moaned against his lips unwittingly. She could feel his heat, hear his heavy breaths, could taste his saliva; and nothing in the galaxy could have ever prepared her for the onslaught of sensations she felt when kissing Ben Solo. His hands gripping her shirt tightly as his tongue slid along her lower lip and Rey’s hands slid up into his hair, tightening their grip on the silken black strands as he deepened their kiss. She was consumed by him, enveloped by him, swallowed whole by the depths of his passion.

When she finally pulled back to gaze up at him, gasping for air, Rey felt herself growing… weaker. Ben’s expression, while filled with desperate fervor, was also somber. _“I have to let you go,”_ he whispered.

“No,” Rey found her voice, though it was cracked and anguished. “Please, Ben, I –”

_“I can’t keep drawing on your Force energy,”_ he said softly, gazing intently at her. His next words were paused, almost as if he considered whether or not to say them. Their bond had been an unspoken one, but finally he broke the silence: _“I love you too much to take you with me.”_

The tears came fresh, streaming down her face and wetting her clothes. Her grip on him tightened as her hazel eyes pleaded with him. “Ben, _please_ – I don’t care anymore. Just take me with you! I… I’m _all alone_ without you, you were _gone_ and I can’t–”

  
A soft hand came up to stroke her tear-stained cheek in a gentle caress. She’d memorize the love in his dark eyes and remember it forever.

_“_ _No one’s ever really gone.”_


End file.
